“I don’t have a maternity book, but every night Marvin sits with his chuckling to himself and reading bits out like: ‘This week you are going to feel like this…

“He carries it around with him everywhere. It’s blue and covered with little cartoons of sperm and he absolutely loves it. It’s been written by a man, so it’s full of things like: ‘Her boobs will get bigger, which is great, but you can’t touch them, which is not great. God is definitely a woman.’”

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